Tuesday, November 24, 2009


"It is something that gathers strength with patience, grows despite obstacles, warms in winter, flourishes in spring, casts a breeze in summer, and bears fruit in autumn -- I found Love. "
Khalil Gibran

Love..transcends all.
it happens like billion stars exploding,beyond realms of mundane,music in all atoms of body,nerves start tingling,feelings burst,in infinite universe when two people find a reason may be an abstract one to merge their essence into celebration. seeping through their veins,runs a promise to be together always in all lives but are those promises fulfilled?
why do relations have a bitter ending?
why they cant stand test of time?
why differences creep in?
may be that person was not your soul mate....
that i dont know..but i know two soulful people who changed me and my views about love that true love does exist for sure.....

read the story here:

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Love Actually: Coma can't put a fullstop to this tale

College romances are meant to be fun, laughter and companionship. But for 23-year-old Sunny Pawar, companionship has assumed a new meaning.

His girlfriend, Aarti Macwan, met with a serious accident a year-and-a-half ago and has been in coma ever since.

Sunny says Aarti - his girlfriend of of two-and-a-half years - was a cheerful, independent girl. But now she needs to be cared for 24 hours a day.

“I spent 15 months with Aarti before the accident and 15 months after. It’s those 15 months that have forced me, motivated me and given me the determination to go on,” says Sunny.

Sunny was a student before the accident but he has now given up his studies to take care of Aarti. He feeds her, keeps her clean, talks to her and takes care of all her daily needs.

Aarti's mother Bharati Macwan can only marvel at this young boy whose role has transcended way beyond the regular boyfriend.

“He is a male member and taking care of my daughter and serving her like anything even before marriage. He' s her boyfriend, he's her father,” she says.

Struggling with financial difficulties and the inevitable depression, Sunny pins up poems and positive messages on the wall opposite Aarti’s bed.

And even though this unique couple isn't bound in a marriage, they are already living their vows - together in sickness and in health, till death do them apart.

you tube:

1] Love heals
By: Anand Holla
December 7, 2006

Sunny Pawar (extreme left) and Aarti Makwana (extreme right)
Tragedy struck Mira Road resident Aarti Makwana (19), months before her final university exams, but has found a saviour in boyfriend Sunny Pawar (22), who has been at her hospital bedside since 76 days, arranging for money from his friends to foot her bill.

On September 21, Aarti went for a drive with three friends to Borivli’s Gorai beach. On the way, as the friend driving the Maruti 800 sped out, the car turned turtle. “The car went out of control, took a swift turn and turned upside down,” said a friend of Aarti, who did not wish to be named.

Aarti, a third year commerce student of Mira Road’s Royal College, slipped into coma after the accident and was rushed to Jaslok hospital.

According to her mother, Bharti, Aarti’s condition has shown improvement.
“I am going through a harrowing time, seeing Aarti in coma. She now rotates her eyeballs, but fails to recognise anyone,” she said. Bharti’s husband has abandoned her.

Meanwhile, Pawar has not gone home even once in the last 76 days and spends most of his time by Aarti’s bedside.

Pawar, a Mithibai college graduate who missed his post-graduate exam in finance this October, met Aarti during a summer job last year and the two fell in love. “She needs me, and if I don’t help her in her hard times, then when can I? I want her back into my life, because I can’t live without her,” said Pawar.

He said, “She is fun-loving and wonderful. I can only hope that generous readers would provide financial help for her treatment. We are running short of funds,” adding, “Love will keep us alive…”

RD Nagpal, neurosurgeon at Jaslok hospital, said, “Aarti is being treated for a severe head injury and her total hospital bills are expected to cross Rs seven lakh.”

Aarti’s condition has stabalised. Bharti said bills amounting to Rs five lakh have been footed. “I had to takeRs two lakh loan to make the payment,” she added.


Pawar: 9892856554
[2] Pawar of love
By: Anand Holla
September 22, 2007

LOVE ACTUALLY: Sunny Pawar with his girlfriend Aarti Makwana at Jaslok Hospital
On September 21, 2006, Aarti Makwana (20) had a car accident, slipped into a coma and was hospitalised at Jaslok, hitched on to a life-support system. A year on, miraculously, the girl has been recovering — slowly.

While it may not be medically proven, it is a fact that a lot of the credit goes to the outpouring of love and support from Aarti’s family and her pillar of strength — boyfriend Sunny Pawar (23). Sunny and Aarti met just 15 months before her accident, but his devotion and love to her puts many long-term relationships to shame.

For the first four months that she was in the ICU, Sunny spent every single hour of every single day with her. But even now, after she was moved to a ward and is not critical, Sunny has refused to abandon her and get on with his own life.

Best job in the world

“It’s just like any other job, except that I don’t draw a salary,” he smiles wanly. He leaves Dahisar at 11 am and returns by midnight, a 12-hour stint every day. “But this ‘job’ is so much more important and the satisfaction it gives me beats any job in the world,” he added.

Sunny feeds Aarti and plays with her left hand that she can now move. And, of course, attends to her basic nursing needs like changing her when she soils herself.

In return, Sunny gets a blank gaze (Aarti cannot recognise people) and an occasional touch from her. “She can’t recognise me or her mother, but she responds to us, as we have become a habit,” said Sunny.

To add some cheer to her room (in the hope that it will aid her recovery), Sunny has stuck her drawings of gods and goddesses on the walls of her room and added his own message, thanking God for all the support. Before the accident, Sunny had enrolled for a Chartered Financial Analyst course, but had put it on hold.

Aarti’s hospital expenses every day comes up to around
Rs 3,000 (excluding her medicines). Sunny admits that the expensive operation and her year’s stay at a premium hospital like Jaslok wouldn’t have been possible without media support.

“I thank MiD DAY for taking the initiative and covering this story first, which got us financial aid from kind-hearted readers. Of around Rs 10 lakh spent on Aarti’s hospitalisation, some of it has come from donations, due to media coverage, Sunny added.

Aarti is improving

Aarti’s mother Bharti said, “But she can barely drink about three cups of milk through her mouth, the rest has to be fed through the tube connected to her stomach.” But Sunny is still upbeat about the daunting task ahead. He says he can finish feeding her a glass spoon-by-spoon in two hours; last month it took her five hours.
YOU CAN HELP AARTI: Contact her mother Bharti Makwana on 9892811359 or Sunny on 9892856554

The accident

On September 21, Aarti went for a drive with three friends to Borivli’s Gorai beach. On the way back, the car turned turtle as it was speeding.

Aarti, then a third year commerce student of Mira Road’s Royal College, suffered severe head injuries, while others escaped almost unhurt.

and three years thence...love has transcended all limitations and it is flourishing in garden of improbabilities in is mystical hues ...with existence celebrating the divine nectar and sprinkling celestial blessings on both of them....
god bless you both!!!!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

broken wings

There lived a girl once,
in her silent cocoon
in her space chocked by her own silent tears
who closes her eyes to hope her life is a reverie
she winks and finds her life an agony
she looks at flower's and sees them bloom
she looks at night and fights her gloom
she holds a pen and scribble her thoughts
for she fears her dreams will die in her heart
she yearns to be free in boundless sky
she flies like seagull to far off skies...

people tell her oddities
and coax her to prove her self to all
she tried and tries still so hard
but she seems so lost in all that is not part of her heart
she is a failure as people often call her
or snigger at her back
she understands it all
but knows in her heart
her vision lies somewhere else
her life seems drowned in pain
her wings clipped and broken
and destiny torn and shed
she sees no hope
nor a rainbow
in her path strewn with stones
she thought she was special
but life crushed her so badly
that she is afraid..to hope,to dream to feel
she befriended her silence
and nursed her hurt
she stopped blaming herself for all wrongs that her life endured
she wanted a balm
a touch to heal
she knew nobody could help her
but her self
she thanks life still for all pains she feel
for she thinks she couldn't be a woman she became without these pains indeed!!!!

In retrospect she thinks she still has a spark,an eye to look at things differently,her gleamy soul,candid moments,her painful past,her divine growth,her sensitivity,her uniqueness,her faith,her hopes,her dreams which she yearns and not what people have chosen for her....
she knew..."Whatever you do, you need courage.there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always dificulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right."
she met her path,she danced and growing strength from her eternal web of solitude she flew to depths of deepest ocean,to azure blue sky,beyond clouds,near eternal sunshine,beyond doubts,beyond pain and joy,far from tears and laughter....
she flew...beyond limitations of human life!!!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tuesday, September 29, 2009


in atoms of life,
in seeds in womb,
in dance of galaxies,
in darkness of black holes..
in twined DNA of life,
in a soul far from cry,
life is happening in each moment,
reverberating in winds,
flying in clouds,
tiny specks in cosmos,
of human existence..
of life in ghettos,
of soulful sun..
life in spring...
with leap of faith..
of determinism and free will,
in tune with miracles and divine interference
of journey we beckon,
of wisdom we garner,
stepping on failures
and rising past them
accepting the unified
and cosmic presence
of stars that shine,
and moon that glints..
of eclipses which overshadow
our dreams in transit
yet the dew shines on petals,
and child smiles anyway,
flowers blossom
and winters turn to may.
good shall come
or may not
but keep singing the eternal song
in wilderness of existence
hold your self..and kiss
you exist,
is a miracle..
of countless chaos bundled in order
for you to witness
the joy,
turn away not..
trust me..

life will shine like thousand sparkling suns on you too,
but deny not yourself the pain,
you been passing through..
your alchemist will turn you to gold
when time beckons
and make you dance in eternal world of matter,space and whole...

mun mun

PS : it is quite chaotic and incoherent but that is the state i am in while writing it and a surge of release for me...

Thursday, September 17, 2009

closing cycles......

by Paulo Coelho

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.
Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters - whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished. Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents' house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened.
You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.
None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot for ever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back.

Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away. That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them.
Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.
Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the "ideal moment." Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back.
Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person - nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.
Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


be hopeful..!!
have faith..!!!
be optimistic...!!!
keep smiling in spite of troubles...!!!

i think we all have heard inspiring things like this in our lives, i too have..but then there is sometime when you just cannot smile,
when you want to weep,
when you want to be vulnerable,
when you cannot think straight,when you want to quit...
is it all that bad?
have we always have to wear facade of optimism and
cheerfulness on our face?
cannot we be sad and sombre?
have we always have to be part of crowd?
cannot we have a moment with our self?
do we always need to share pleasantries?
cannot we be doleful and whisper our secrets to trees,clouds and look for a private space where no one intrudes?
cannot we wish a situation where we are not judged,dissected,criticized,but are accepted as part of whole...as unified particle of universe which beholds us!!!
cannot we stop to talk or see faces of men?
cannot we enter shrine of our soul?
cannot we fly?
do we always need to masquerade? cannot we breath freshness in our stale robotic lives where we are required to act,think and belief as per preconceived notions?
a life of hope and despair,light and dark,tears and laughter,day and night,yin and yang....

i will smile...sure
but i will shed a tear too when i feel like..
i shall be strong...
but will nurture my weaknesses too..
i will welcome day
but will dance in night too..
i shall share my being
but will search my space too...
i shall be ying
but will be yang too...

P.S:i don't know what was going through my mind when i wrote this and many ppl Will not accept it,that is how they see life and i don't wish to change how they see..
it is through my understanding of life..

Thursday, August 20, 2009


I always was apprehensive of working in pediatrics because i could not see children in pain, in suffering, in fight against the inevitable,in feeling of hopelessness in their body when their soul yearns to fly...

but as life is without any plausible explanations...of why and why nots??

i was posted in pediatrics which i joined with much grin...
children..of all ages,of diseases varied,petrified,confused,crying,some going home after been treated well,some jumping in bed when knowing that they will be going home tomorrow,and some unfortunate ones whose only respite is death and one wonders whether medicine is prolonging their sufferingsor giving them elusive respite...!!!

A three year old girl with brain tumor with cancer hollowing her whole body but couldn't dampen her spirits...
her shaky voice telling me didi will i be fine?

Another girl anjali...her 45 th day in hospital with severe congenital heart disease with only one atrium and ventricle with hypo plastic pulmonary artery,with multiple brain abscesses living each day as living corpse and into her 13th birthday with her dreams lying scattered and ruined...

a child of 3 years with tumor of kidney..who has forgotten how to laugh...

A child of blood cancer little knowing what he has telling me that he wants to be a doctor when he grows up...


why they should suffer so much?

but as i said...life does not have answers to all queries...

Monday, August 3, 2009

love in autumn..

ah..those tantalizing moments of love,
of love in autumn,of dance with leaves..
of song of parched souls..
bequeathing a new dream..

those moments of dying,
and falling as leaves,
those lifting us free
and resurrecting our being...

those old stories and elusive being,
waiting in storms,running with gales,
those dried leaves in books..
promising to be witness
of love few could feel..

hiding stealthily in his garb,
gazing at infinite sky,
drifting in paranormal,
with his presence close to my heart..

laughing on abstract,
running on endless roads,
gathering the parched leaves,
to make our homes..

young and old we shall be now,
yellow and red our leaves,
but the love i felt for you,
when the leaf blossomed,
is as virgin it could be....

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Friday, July 17, 2009

of love and love...

Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be,
The last of life, for which the first was made:
Our times are in His hand
Who saith, 'A whole I planned,
Youth shows but half; trust God:
See all not be afraid!'
Robert Browning, "Rabbi ben Ezra" (1864).

a gift from my best friend!!

whenever i have been down and out,he has been supporting me in his own inscrutable ways which i rarely understand...

i fight a lot with him but he always stands besides me with his hope,faith and prayers. His optimism creates miracles for me and his constant encouragement has now become an addiction to me!!!

he does not share his problems with me because he cannot see worry on my face..

he supported my dream even when his own dreams were crumbling...

i share some of his thoughts....

  • i don't know what should i write.
  • a word of hope,a shoulder in sadness,a hand in darkness
  • then i realised what you feel,i feel it twice!!!

  • i always want to see you at zenith..if i dreamt ever of something most sweet, i wished same for you but if my road was so rough and tough for me that does not mean i should change what i felt the best for you...

  • gods delay are not gods denial..dont fence your goals or concepts..every valley has its low point,every mountain has a peak..problems do end..they do go away..they are resolved with time.they say it is glory of god to conceal things..your storm will pass and your winter will too thaw....
thanks a lot...for many such write ups..
it indeed is a pink diamond for me!!!!

May the road rise to meet you...
May the wind be ever at your back....
May the Good Lord keep you in the hollow of His hand....
May your heart be as warm as your hearthstone.....
And when you come to die
may the wail of the poor
be the only sorrow
you'll leave behind....

May God bless you always....

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

the calling path!!!

We have certain times in our lives to make choices and not just make them but also live consequences of our choices..
we wish that some Nostradamus or Jeane Dickson to come...or some astrologer to come to our rescue that whatever choices we are making are the right ones...!!
how do we or better still i decide which path i have to tread?
i started determined on a path i wanted to tread with all my fortitude and will...but as i started my journey it was riddled with innumerable problems,but i kept going...with all hope and faith...
but things didn't seem to ease out...i still hanged on to my dream...
i kept running after it and i must say i still am but it is eluding me in all its hues...
then i kept thinking is existence telling me to let go of my dream that is why there are so many hurdles...or may be i should muster some more courage..
how do we decide the path of life we have to tread?
does destiny push us where we need to go or is it we who chooses?
can a decision be taken instinctively or it needs to be dissected every time?
cant we take a path when whole world is against it and bear consequences of our choices?
is life always perfect and fulfilling?
cant we take risks?
cant we explore life?
is experience of elders paramount and should be taken in consideration or we should make a fresh pack of our unique experiences?

i go with the decision i have decided and when i know all odds are against me...but i promise i rise or falter on this path,i take the blame!!!
because if i dont tread this path due to fear or apprehensions i will always have a guilt that i did not try,that i gave up because other people frightened me...
so,i take a plunge...
and with it take a responsibility to make choices which will determine how my life unfolds!!!
ciao ciao!!!

Monday, June 8, 2009


when you resolve your life to its highest level,

strength of soul will guide you!!!

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Monday, June 1, 2009

the pearls of Nikos Kazantzakis

I said to the almond tree: "Speak to me of God"
and the almond tree blossomed....

There is only one woman in the world. One woman, with many faces......

Whoever climbed the Lord's mountain had to possess clean hands and an innocent heart; otherwise the Summit would kill him. Today the doorway is deserted. Soiled hands and sinful hearts are able to pass by without fear, for the Summit kills no longer. 

I hope for nothing. I fear nothing. I am free.
Blessed be that haughty mind that aimed at the greatest hope!
Speak straight and clear! I only hear that manly prayer
which like a huge fist breaks my head against the stones.

We will not leave! We guard the innocent soul of man!

A woman's body is a dark and monstrous mystery...

Every person, after completing his service in all labors, reaches finally the highest summit of endeavor, beyond every labor, where he no longer struggles or shouts, where he ripens fully in silence, indestructibly, eternally, with the entire Universe.
Contend with the powers of nature, force them to the yoke of superior purpose. Free that spirit which struggles within them and longs to mingle with that spirit which struggles within you.
Die every day. Be born every day. Deny everything you have every day. The superior virtue is not to be free but to fight for freedom

At every moment of crisis an array of men risk their lives in the front ranks as standard-bearers of God to fight and take upon themselves the whole responsibility of the battle.

The star dies, but the light never dies; such also is the cry of freedom.
All hopes and despairs vanish in the voracious, funneling whirlwind of God.

Earth rises up in your brains and sees her entire body for the first time.

The doors of heaven and hell are adjacent and identical.

Free yourself from the terror of the heart that seeks and hopes to find the essence of things.

I love, I feel pain, I struggle. The world seems to me wider than the mind, my heart a dark and almighty mystery.